Time To Apologise

Dear readers of this not-very-up-to-date newspaper.

I have to apologise.

The article about me being online was only half true (read it if you have no idea what this is about), you could have guessed that because of the poor humour and overdosage or irony.
The reason for that is simple. I was floating on a cloud of painkillers thinking I was strong and could take over the world.

I honestly expected to be in SL in two weeks time when I wrote that.

Reality had hit quite hard. It's now 7 months and I still am not able to go into SL without repercussions, I have tested it a few times.

My brain has had about six scans. The latest doesn't show any damage. All the ones before show a brain that has been smashed to one side. First one shows a gap about the size of a apple on one side, filled with blood or a liquid.
You can imagine a list of permanent consequences (personality change, memory loss, speaking with a Scottish accent etc). Strike it, from the way it looks there is no permanent brain damage. I sometimes forget things, no more as usual and I still can blame that on an incident in my childhood. Had some weird glitches in my vision but that was ages ago and can also be accredited to the painkillers.
So brain is ok.

I thought that a few ribs were broken. I was wrong. After writing the article I have had several scans. It wasn't a few, it was most on one side. The rest, left and right were all bruised. The side that was broken caused less pain as the side that was bruised.
Not only were ribs broken, my sternum, or chest bone, was broken at three places. next to pain it has caused a (now permanent) change in chest configuration. One side of the sternum is now up, and the other, lower,  side is depressed. This changes my collar bones, the position of my shoulders and of course the ribs behind that.

Besides the two fractured vertebra in my spine they have forgotten to tell me that the vertebra above and below were also damaged. So in total six vertebra were broken.
Below each lung there was a blob of fluid, blood, the size of a grapefruit.

I was very disappointed that the hospital didn't inform me on my brokenness, I had to find out after I was home. I have been told that my bones have healed now.

After minor physical activity I had more pain, became extremely tired and could not control my breathing.
So to investigate that I was examined by a lung specialist and an internist. The lung specialist concluded that my lungs have normal capacity and that despite the new configuration (of my chest) my lungs are not impacted.
The internist also could not find any problems with my new configuration. But when an internist starts to investigate they will always find things that are slightly out of the normal. One of the things she found is an enlarged thyroid that will need some attention.
Both could not explain my pain, my exhaustion and uncontrolled breathing. There are no organs or other things that are pushed down.

The pain I had to go through was intense. Slowly things recovered. Was able to sleep on one side, few weeks later the other side. Could not sneeze or cough without sinking through the floor, can now.

I have reduced the intake of painkillers sorta. What remains, for now, is the maximum dosage of paracetamol (acetaminophen).

I did find a possible cause for the extra pain, exhaustion and uncontrolled breathing. Any minor activity will cause that. I have started a slow program with exercise beginning with.. ten minutes walking a day with my cane I also realise that pain will cause exhaustion.

My mistake was to use a moment in time as a reference when I thought I could do almost everything while being deeply immersed into painkillers.

My posture is extremely important and I must rest, sleep, once during daytime to keep pain under control. Oddly enough that daytime sleep does not affect my night sleeping. Must slowly build new (and better!) muscles. One problem is, there is no direct feedback of doing things wrong and the pain that follows. It takes a day to feel the consequences and it doesn't take much to make an error.

I thought I could enter Second Life with ease. My first experiment with that went horribly wrong. I was on-line and hour, little more, and had to suffer for a week long.

Second Life is immersive. When I enter SL my muscles, in my back, tense up. Even with a timer I can not control that. It is very different as Twitter or following the Feed.

My last experiment gives one day of pain after an hour of SL.

I feel I had to write this, for completeness and to explain why I wasn't able to enter SL and keep the newspaper running.

I have neglected my responsibilities as a janitor, park ranger (?) and newspaper editor. I wasn't there for my close friends. I can't make any promises on what I can do.

Now I follow a slow program to increase my resistance and stamina. A physio therapist is testing me gently once a week and has given me a small training program. Not a workout as in a gym, but some movements of my upper body and legs I must do once a day.

So Roc, you have to continue with my janitorial responsibilities. I can not lift a broom.
Stop calling about the missing newspapers Syl! Once it's possible the newspaper will be published as usual and you'll get a refund (!) for all the missed editions.

Editor Vick Forcella


  1. I told you then and I'll tell you again: we'll be here for you when you're ready. Whenever that is.

  2. Thus says Argon:

    Don't worry. You will always be known as the man they could not kill by dropping a tree on him.



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